Hollywood, CA – After years of getting snubbed, for some of this generations’ best works, Leonardo DiCaprio can officially call himself an Oscar winner.
Last night, in front of an audience filled with a bunch of white people pretending to love black people, DiCaprio claimed his prize for portraying frontiersman Hugh Glass in the film ‘The Revenant’. In which, he provided a performance of grunting and crawling on ground to the likes of which we haven’t seen since, well, Leonardo DiCaprio in ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’.
While other, more important awards were passed out last night. It was the Hollywood heartthrobs’ victory that grabbed all the headlines. Much of this can be attributed to the strong social media support DiCaprio received from his fans, who didn’t happen to see the works of the other nominees.
One supporter was flagged down outside of the Weinstien after party and asked how he felt about DiCaprio’s long awaited triumph.
“I mean, it’s about fucking time,”the belligerent interviewee said. “He’s Leonardo DiCaprio. If he doesn’t have an Oscar than can we even consider the award legitimate?”
When asked what the DiCaprio supporters, who only saw ‘The Revenant’ thought about some of the other men nominated for the award they gave some impressively unqualified responses. Including one fan who thought ‘Trumbo’ leading man Bryan Cranston was ‘brilliant’ in the AMC drama ‘Breaking Bad’ but felt it didn’t warrant him an Oscar almost 3 years after the show went off the air.
Many pundidts thought ‘Steve Jobs’ star Michael Fassbender had an outside shot at the award, but cited ‘too much supple dialogue’ and ‘aggressive character development’ as reasons for Fassbender’s shortcoming.