TEMPE, AZ – A recent study conducted by Arizona State University and several local night clubs reveal shocking evidence that girls aren’t that interested in having sex with guys they’ve never met.
Data shows that 48 percent of women surveyed at ASU said they’d prefer hooking up with someone they ‘know’ when they go out, as opposed to getting it on with someone they just met that night (10 percent) or no one at all (40 percent)*. Citing ‘just wanting to get drunk with friends’ and ‘disinterest in date rape’ as reasons why.
The survey also indicated that 34 percent of women chose never to have a one night stand with someone they don’t know.
“Yeah, going out is starting to become a bit of a chore,” sophomore Nikki Bennett said. “It seems like we can’t go one night without a pack of drunk mouth-breathers walking up behind us, looking to dance.”
Mike Howler, junior, was surprised by the results the research concluded, but is still fed up with dancing in a circle of his guy friends.
“Who knew they so many of them aren’t interested in drunken, disappointing sex?” Howler said. “Cut us a break, you should see what happens to a dancefloor when One Direction comes on. It looks like everybody is trying to bang.”
It is is important to note that, while Howler has never had any legal trouble involving sexual harassment or assault, he does have a bit of a reputation here with some of the women. Sources say his nickname is ‘Howler the Prowler’ and one girl told a reporter that he’s ‘always creepin; never sleepin’.
*2 percent said they’re waiting for the bathroom attendant to come around