Homeowner Recinds Immigration Stance After Cost of Yard Work Skyrockets


Jefferson, MO. – In light of ‘poor landscaping’,  a local man has decided he isn’t so opposed to illegal immigration after all.

Mark Volvic, 45, has decided to reinstate yard workers Chi-Chi and Jose Gomez. This happened after the Gomez brothers allegedly failed to show Volvic documentation that they were in the country legally.

“I’m a man who stands by his beliefs,” Volvic said. “My beliefs have just changed. Rico and Pedro (Chi-Chi and Jose) did a really nice job on my hedges, and they saved me a bundle. I’m sure some of their other little buddies have done the same for others.”

Volvic stated the he was unimpressed with both the work and cost of other local landscapers, and claims he changed his mind shortly after hiring neighborhood boy Jimmy Cayhill to tend to his lawn.

“You should have seen how bad this kid did, and for $30 an hour,” Volvic said. “I had Hector and Paco (Chi-Chi and Jose) doing it for 15 (dollars an hour), and my lawn looked like Wrigley Field.”

Cayhill, 12, reportedly started mowing lawns last month in order to save up his money for a Nintendo Wii-U. This after his parents didn’t get him one for Christmas. Sources say they got him slacks instead.

The Gomez brothers declined to comment on the matter.



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