Fans that didn’t see other nominees: ‘Confident’ Academy made ‘right choice’

Hollywood, CA - After years of getting snubbed, for some of this generations' best works, Leonardo DiCaprio can officially call himself an Oscar winner. Last night, in front of an audience filled with a bunch of white people pretending to love black people, DiCaprio claimed his prize for portraying frontiersman Hugh Glass in the film... Continue Reading →


Breaking: Judge rules in favor of over-heated, wintertime building in case against sweaty, middle-aged men

St. Paul, MN - Today a Minnesota state judge ruled in favor of a St. Paul corporate office in a landmark case against a union of middle-aged men. The plaintiff claimed that the defendant had created an unsafe work environment by keeping their offices air conditioning up to high during the months of January and... Continue Reading →

11 signs that maybe you and your roommate actually aren’t BFFs 5ever

“I’m going to slow down on the drinking” actually means: “Say adios to your Coronas”. Watching TV together begins and ends with the same re-run of NCIS. 3. Your roommate prefers original Cheez-Itz. 4. When ever you have a member of the opposite sex over your roommate asks them       “T-minus how many minutes till Poundtown,... Continue Reading →


Weed Dealer ‘Devistated’ By Christe Drop-out. States ‘end is near’

OVERLAND PARK, KS - This morning Chris Christie decided to suspend his presidential campaign. While many Americans could care less about this, a local marijuana dealer thinks the clock is about to strike midnight for his 'business'. It's no secret that the New Jersey governor was the biggest opponent to marijuana reform out of all... Continue Reading →


Report: Women at Night Club Not Necessarily Wanting Sex From Strangers

TEMPE, AZ - A recent study conducted by Arizona State University and several local night clubs reveal shocking evidence that girls aren't that interested in having sex with guys they've never met. Data shows that 48 percent of women surveyed at ASU said they'd prefer hooking up with someone they 'know' when they go out,... Continue Reading →


Homeowner Recinds Immigration Stance After Cost of Yard Work Skyrockets

Jefferson, MO. - In light of 'poor landscaping',  a local man has decided he isn't so opposed to illegal immigration after all. Mark Volvic, 45, has decided to reinstate yard workers Chi-Chi and Jose Gomez. This happened after the Gomez brothers allegedly failed to show Volvic documentation that they were in the country legally. "I'm... Continue Reading →


Student Abroad Starts Blog: Followers Rejoice!

As many of you know and many of you don't, I am spending this semester in the land of Indian food and Vodka: Scotland! Since I've been here I've realized many important things, but two really standout. First, I feel a weird obligation to write something. Instead of starting a blog comprised of tales about... Continue Reading →


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